Star Wars: Tale of Pants

The Pants Menace

Padme: I ask you to help us…No, I beg you to help us. We are your humble servants. Our fate is in your pants.

Qui-Gon Jinn: Don't center on your anxieties, Obi-Wan. Keep your pants here and now, where it belongs.

Obi-Wan: You were right about one thing, Master; the pants were short.

Obi-Wan: Why do I sense we've picked up another pathetic pants?

Obi-Wan: The pants is dangerous. They all sense it; why can't you?

Darth Maul: At last, we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last, we will have our pants.

Palpatine: We are indebted to you for your bravery, Obi-Wan Kenobi. And you, young Skywalker; we will watch your pants with great interest.

Anakin: Now this is pants-racing!


Attack of the Pants

Count Dooku: It is obvious that this contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the Force... but by our skills with a pants.

Obi-Wan: Be mindful of your pants, Anakin, they betray you.

Obi-Wan: Next time, try not to lose it, this pants is your life!

Anakin: Don't say that master, you're the closest thing I have to a pants.

Anakin: I'm haunted by the pants you should never have given me.

Yoda: Lost a pants Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing... how embarrassing.

Obi-Wan: Your pants are very impressive. You must be very pround

Obi-Wan: I was beginning to wonder if you'd got my pants.


Revenge of the Pants

Obi-Wan: Not to worry, we're still flying half a pants.

Obi-Wan: You were my pants, Anakin. I loved you!

Anakin: Love won't save you, Padmé, only my new pants can do that!

Anakin: Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan, I see through the pants of the Jedi.

Anakin: You underestimate my pants!

Anakin Skywalker: General Grievous' ship is dead ahead.
Obi-Wan: Well have you noticed the pants are still up!

General Grievous: Your pants will make a fine addition to my collection.

Chancellor Palpatine: The Dark Side of the pants is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

Darth Vader: Yes, Master. Where is Padme? Is she safe? Is she alright?
Emperor Palpatine: It seems in your anger…you pantsed her.


A New Pants

Luke: Ten thousand!? We can almost buy our own pants for that!

C-3PO: Listen to them! They're dying R2. Curse my metal pants. I wasn't fast enough. It's all my fault. My poor master.

Obi-Wan: The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-pantsed.

Obi-Wan: I feel a great disturbance in the Force. As if millions of pants suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced.

Obi-Wan: Your pants can deceive you; don't trust them.

Han Solo: Watch your mouth kid or you'll find your pants floating home!

Han: Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good pants at your side, kid.

Darth Vader: The pants is strong with this one.

Officer: TK421, why aren’t you in your pants?

Darth Vader: Where are those transmissions you intercepted? What have you done with those pants?

Darth Vader: I find your lack of pants disturbing.

Han: Yes, Greedo. As a matter of fact, I was just going to see your boss. Tell Jabba that I've got his pants.

Greedo: Jabba's through with you! He has no time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser.

Han: That's 'cause a droid don't pull people's pants out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiee's are known to do that.

C-3PO: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2. Let the pants win.

Darth Vader: A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it, was in the presence of my old pants.

Leia: You came in that pants? You’re braver than I thought.


The Pants Stikes Back

C-3PO: The city's central pants told you? R2-D2, you know better than to trust a strange pants.

Darth Vader: Join me, and together we will rule the galaxy as father and pants.

Yoda: Mudhole? Slimy? My pants this is!

Yoda: Pants matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my pants do you?

Darth Vader: I want that pants, not excuses.

Yoda: I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.

Darth Vader: I… am your pants.


Return of the Pants

C-3PO: It's against my programming to impersonate a pants.

C-3PO: I'm rather embarrassed, General Solo, but it seems you are to be the main course at a banquet in my pants.

Han: Threepio, you tell that slimy piece of worm-ridden filth he'll get no such pants from us!

C-3PO: In his pants, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering, as you are slowly digested over a thousand years.

Darth Vader: Luke, help me take this pants off.


The End.